The ball is rolling...

.... and its going to keep going.
Last night, well early this morning, I was up reading blogs for support for Christian women dealing with infertility. What i learned was I was putting my need for a child above the plan God has for me. Idolatry.
I cried and had a talk with Jesus. I feel so refreshed this morning. He understands my pain and its just not my time, and even if my womb is never " opened" I have to trust Him. I know He has the best for me; I admit its hard to even think about never having children. My house is quite, I crave that beautiful chaotic noise of children. Its something im working through and im trying my best to be patient untill a door opens for us ( medical, adoption, or it just happening). Its hard.
So when I woke up, i went on a speed grocery shopping trip ( 40 bucks in 10 mins) and came home and made a few phone calls to handle some legals we are awaiting to be overturened, and we are highly favored sooo yay. Called my school to get enrolled. And called an adoption agency that I was recommend to for our pre screen packet.
Please pray for us. Our life changes day by day and its only for the better. So patiently waiting on the Lord isn't so hard, He never let me down.

Waiting Time is Praying Time

So on Monday I got the call from my doctor from my recent semi annual test. The visit was awesome and I was in such a great mood. All I had to do was loose 10 pounds and she felt like I could get prego. Welp, Theres just a little bit more that im going to have to get through to receiving that gift ( and my faith and hopes are high!!!).

I have PCOS and my pap came back red flagged for cyst on my overies cervix that could be cancerous. My initial reaction was  a meltdown. I left work and relaxed with my husband. Also, Talked to some wonderful ladies who have been through it too and I felt really better and at ease.

SOOOO now the waiting  test. Im not usually good at these but hey... what really can I do? I do not have insurance so it will be around a week till the new gyno approves it ( and with all your prayers I believe they will!!!)

I thank you all in advance for your prayers and support. I will keep you all posted when I know more. I love you all!!!

PS. I dont think I could have a better husband. I am  blessed to have him in my life. He is  one of a kind. The way he is supporting me through this has just been... well it makes me speechless and teary-eyed.

A Prayer to get through bad times... it helped me... well helps me :) You are not alone!!!

Father,
I’ve just heard those dreaded words that I’ve prayed not to hear. My spirit is shattered.
May world is falling apart.
I want to fight, to rebel, to flee from the reality of this, yet I know that You are there.
No matter how angry, deserted, disappointed I feel, Your love will never let me go. You will provide Your sustaining courage regardless of the future. Please grant me and my loved ones courage for whatever lies ahead. Help me to remember that You do understand everything about me, and want me to come to You laying all my burdens at Your feet.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

---

Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

II Corinthians 12:9

Its July already?

When I was younger, someone once told me that the older you get the faster time seems to go. Its so true! Wasnt there a blizzard covering the ground a month ago? Im sure for my northern friends & family that question is true. July also marks the month before my birthday...the month before the last year of my twenties starts. !!Yikes!! As much as I will miss the youthfullness and freedom of being Twenty something, Im excited for the next phase of my Earthly life. What do the next ten years have in store for me? Id like to go to college, have a few kids, and have a house & some land, take a few getaways(erin go braugh) and just become what God has created me for. Heres (holds up martini glass) to the time we do have. Lets make the most of every moment. Sleep good & live better! Have a wondeful weekend luvs.

'Tater chips for breakfast

Since we had breakfast for dinner last night my schedule is off & I ate a small bag of Lays for breakfast. This of course is just my justifaction. :) & Im ok with that! Ive been studying very hard on this womens bible study blog that im starting ( first post will me July 12th email if your interested & ill keep you updated). Im starting with Why God created women? I must say the H.B.I.C attitude deep down inside took a blow to the heart. Its going to be very intersting to get other womens views. Meanwhile: Learning the basic operations of this blog have been interesting. Im mostly on my phone or a computer at the libary. Hoping I will have a laptop soon -hint hint wink wink David!-
Be blessed bloggers & friends!

50 Loads of Laundry

I currently work at a Rehab ( not for drugs but people out of surgery) / Living Center. I do laundry now (started doing HSKP) and my days are pretty busy. Its not my dream job (duh?) but theres something promising and refreshing about humble beginings. I get to witness Gods amazing power and plans for my life unfold before my eyes. I love the residents and some of the nurses but I know God has something else out there for me. I pray that everyone who has to start at rock bottom knows what a blessing it is. When we put ourselves on a petalstool God will knock us off & we will be back at square one anway. So as Ive learned this lesson : Let Gods plan in your life be the plan for your life. You will have fewer bumps and bruises on your head and bum. So as I sit writing this in the laundry room I keep glancing at this pile of laundry that needs to be folded and know that this is a test and its my job not to just do laundry but to work unto the Lord.