I always thought when I turned 30, id have this minor yet powerful midlife crisis. I didn't. The day just felt normal. I was overjoyed that my bean was ok. Morning of Aug 6th, I woke up bleeding and it scared the 20/20 vision out of me. All I wanted was him or her to be ok. God is ver good because he or she is. Seeing the heart beat reaffirmed it. It was like a hello mom im ok. From the time I bled ( on the toilet it wasn't a scene from Carey) till that moment we seen the heart beat, i couldn't breathe. Only one thing mattered: my baby.
The bleeding ( which has not happened again) was due to the 236 days between my cycle, alot of back up if you will. I had no cramping or aches. Just my body taking care of itself, in a very nerve wreaking way!
So where is my OMG IM 30! breakdown? Honestly, dont think im going to feel it. It only really hits me when I think about not being in my 20s, and I was ready to say goodbye! Or when I talk about the past with my girls from way back when. Life is definitely changing, but definitely worth it.
I will be heading back to college when my bean can walk ( had plans to do so this fall), for photography because I feel it necessary to follow your dreams... especially when your a parent. How am I go to look into his/her beautiful eyes ( ironically that are being formed this week) and say I never did, or should of would of could of. Maybe thats my huge mini mid life crisis: life is short and sweet. Follow your dreams.
You know, all the stuff our grade school teachers told us. Or hung up on some poster of two kittens cuddling with a nice quote to make our 3rd grade brains think about who we are.
So end point: life never works out how you want it to. But with faith
( God) it works out for the best. The world is a cursed place and when we receive blessings we should hold on to them and thank God while we are still blessed to breathe.
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