Waiting doesn't seem hard...

...after you waited and got. But waiting is the hardest when your actually waiting

When all hope was lost and I was childless, it used to rip at my heart when someone said they were expecting. It seemed the closer we were the more it stung. Of course, always happy for that new mommy or father, but I wanted what they had. Envy was most definitely my biggest hurdle to jump over. Even with broke, busted,and can't be trusted-how in the hell did they have kids? types. It angered me  (and still does) to see them waste a beautiful blessing. But I envied that they had that blessing, that opportunity.. they had what I wanted most.

I had to get over it and learn that God doesn't let go of His promise. He had a blessing and I had to wait. Irony is that now im like ,well we only have been married for almost two years... but the day before the pregnancy test felt like -im-never- ever- gonna-be-a-mommy.

I learned my lesson! GOD HAS MY BACK AND WILL NEVER LET ME DOWN.... I JUST NEED TO LEARN TO WAIT!.

So now that I am part of this wonderful new "club" ... I hear the voices of where I used to be. The ' when is it gonna be me?' All being happy but silently crying inside. I hear these voices from my friends who have yet to be blessed with children. Some of them would absolutely make amazing moms! I hear the same comments from them that id used to make, im happy for you but I hope my time is soon.

It makes me put in perspective alot of things. I try not to go on and on and on about being pregnant, i try not to over post or over blog, sure I mention it but I do my best to be sensitive to their hopefull feeling. I know how it feels to see every one around you getting what you desire the most & point blank it sucks!

I just pray my blessed situation can be a blessing to someone, to give the hopeful more hope, and most important bring someone closer to God.

&sometimes the grass is greener but its just not right to stand in your yard and yell how green your grass is. Let people see you and get inspired.